Bring on 2008

I finally saw my therapist last week. It was great seeing her since I haven't seen her in a year and a half. It did really help and I have to admit it was the first time I cried at therapy. She asked me all those questions that no one else has asked, "am I mad at God" and "am I saying why me". She was amazed at how well I was doing, eventhough I did break down in tears in her office. So I'll see her again in January.

My husband is continuing to be amazing throughout this process. He's so supportive and loving and understanding. I feel very lucky to have him here because I know there aren't many men that would be willing and able to deal with all of this.

We've definitely decided to adopt. Originally, we wanted to go with a surrogate but there is absolutely no way we can afford it. We love the idea but don't want to go broke in the process. Plus we know there are so many kids that need homes. We started doing research and I'm going to buy some books and get organized. It'll probably be a year before we go full throtle with the adoption process but I want to know what we are in for.

I've seen alot of success stories just on one site I go on. The love that pours from all these women who are the process or have successfully adopted children is unreal. I so look forward to the day I can bring my child home and put him or her in their crib and watch them sleep. But I am nervous thinking that what happens if no one wants us to adopt their baby or we can't match with anyone. My husband says I will be wonderful and shouldn't worry because there is a baby out there for us.

I guess I just have to do my research and get ready.

Now I am happy to see 2007 go away and 2008 to ring in. I have to go into NYC for some tests next week so I just want to get them over with and continue to be healthy and work on the getting happy part.