It's been a very rough few weeks. My grandfather has been sick and is now in the hospital and now my husband's grandmother is in her final days. It's been a super upsetting and stressful time in our lives. Plus with both of us working full time, we don't really see each other so that's putting a strain on our relationship.
I'm so angry about how life is going right now. I found out someone is pregnant today and I literally started tearing up. It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't be sad when someone I know is pregnant, but I am. This should have been my time to start a family and do all the things I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl pushing my baby carriage around with my dolls.
Between dealing with trying to be as healthy as possible and not knowing what my future holds, I just don't know which way to go. I don't feel like a have an outlet and I know I am thoroughly not enjoying life right now. I am angry, depressed, stressed out. We don't do anything fun, but that's because we work constantly. I just don't know what to do. Thankfully I've been seeing my therapist again, which is great. Not sure if that's going to be enough. I am seriously thinking about getting medication to get me through this time. I've been so strong on the outside for months now, and my insides are just crumbling.
I never thought I would ever feel like this. This is a pain I've never felt.
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